Time Passes Too Quickly for This Baby Boomer Woman!

Happy Sunday Everyone!!

I can't believe that it is already August 9th. To me that signals that I will be heading back to my full time teaching job soon....3 weeks and counting! It also means that it 3 days I will be sending off my youngest to college for the first time. My daughter, my baby, will be making her own transition and I am again facing another....I will be an empty nester! It is so bitter sweet. This is what I have been preparing her for, so why does it feel so sad?

Our living room is filled with boxes of snacks, water, new linens, toiletries, and office supplies. It is all there waiting to be loaded into the van Tuesday night. The washer and dryer have been going non stop as she squeezes in loads of laundry in between her last days of work and visits with her friends. Tonight, all of her close circle will gather here for one last sleepover; one last time for them to be together before they all go their separate ways; one last time for me to watch and listen to all of the laughter and excitement of being young.

Where has the time gone? The little girl is gone, and is now a beautiful young woman. Time has passed too quickly....at least for me!

What Would You Do Differently?

How many times have you said or thought "If only I knew then what I know now?" With my impending empty nest, I have been thrown into a bit of reflection. I suppose that this is a common occurence for many baby boomers as they face a change in circumstance.

If you did have the benefit of all of the wordly wisdom you have accumulated over the last 20 or so years, what if anything would you do differently?

**Ditch those painful relationships sooner than you did?
**Choose a different career?
**Foster better relationships with your parents?
**Prepare more for retirement?
**Have more children?
**Get a degree or some form of higher education?
**Save more?
**Spend more?
**Have more fun?
**Move to a different city?
**Get divorced?
**Stay married?

Or....maybe you wouldn't change anything. Maybe we are the wonderful people we are today because we are the sum and total of all of our experiences both good and bad. What do you think?

Calling All Empty Nesters

As many of you who regularly visit my blog know, this coming August I will be an official empty nester. This past week, my daughter and I attended one of the many college orientations. The college representatives did their best at providing the parents with tips for helping their college freshmen make the transition into college life, but what about us?

I must admit, I am intrigued by the idea of having a life of my own again. It has been a long time since I have not had daily, hands on responsibility for my children. What will it be like to not have to cook or clean up after someone other than my husband and myself? What will it feel like to not have daily, physical contact with my daughter so that I know she is ok? As a mother, as many of you know, all you need to do is look at your child and you can tell if something is off. Now I will have to resort to a tone of voice or the words in an email to determine if things are on or off course. These questions have been keeping me awake as much as my night sweats did before I found wicking pajamas!

So I am looking to my readers for advice; not just for myself, but for other baby boomers as well, who are moving into the next phase.

• What should I/we expect over the next few months as we prepare?
• What did you find helpful as you made the switch from full time parent to part time parent?
• What was the best part and what was the worst part of becoming an empty nester?
• If you have already become an empty nester, you are an expert, please share your expertise!

Transitional Moments

Yesterday my daughter turned 18. My baby will soon graduate from high school and in a short 4 months will be off to college. How did this happen?

When talking about how to celebrate her birthday, I requested that we do something one last time....have a sleepover. When she was young, I used to dread those sleepovers. I was always daunted by the prospects of keeping a gaggle of young girls occupied. This year I wanted it. Initially, my daughter thought it was "corny" but when she ran it by her girlfriends they were all for it.

Last night and this morning I found myself surrounded my 4 amazing young women. They are all bright, focused and full of anticipation of the upcoming events of prom, graduation and college. Three are future science majors and one is an impending children's book illustrator. Every once and a while I would stick my head in an overhear snippets of conversations.....the regular girl stuff and said a quick "thank you" to the universe for blessing me with a daughter who has remained innocent and enjoyed her youth. Neither she nor her friends have been spoiled by ugliness. Their faces are fresh and optimistic.

I graduated from high school 22 years ago, and although it didn't seem it at the time, options were limited. The possibilites available to our daughters seem endless to me, and it thrills me to see them embracing them.

Those of you who visit my blog regularly know of the trepidation I am experiencing over my pending "empty nest." I really wanted this pajama party as much for myself as for my daughter. I knew she would have fun, but I wanted to have one more night to watch the look on her face as she opened gifts, laughed and enjoyed being carefree.

This time, I looked upon the sleepover as one more opportunity for each of us to create a memory as we both prepare to move on, just like we should be.

Mothers, Daughters and Empty Nesting

My relationship with my mother was somewhat tumultuous. Eighteen years ago, when I found out that the child I was carrying was a girl, I was nervous. I knew from the start that I wanted to have a better relationship with my daughter that I had with my own mother, but wasn't sure I would know how. Over the last 18 years I have worked hard at trying to nurture my girl, and nurture our relationship.

My daughter and I are now at a transition in our relationship. She is about to graduate from high school and will leave for college in August. This past week, she left for her senior class trip to Florida. When I dropped her off at school early Sunday morning I watched her as she excitedly pulled her suitcase away from the car to embark on her journey and I cried. Although I have been thinking about her impending departure this August, this brief trip really brought it home for me. Soon, she will be off on her own to a certain degree and I am filled with such mixed emotions. Is this what it will feel like to be an "empty nester?" Have I done my job well? Will we still be able to enjoy the closeness and the bond that we have forged with each other?

I talked about this with my girlfriends this week. Some of them have have already made this transition and offered advice. They tell me that this is a time of new exploration for myself. My husband and I will have the freedom to do things without constraint. I will have more time to grow my fledgling wicking sleepwear business. I will now will have time for me! However, I am still feeling a bit shaky.

My daughter returned home at 1:15 a.m. on Wednesday. Although tired, she was eager to talk and we did....until 3 when I had to close my eyes so that I could get up for work at 6. She was bubbling with stories and anecdotes. Yesterday she bounded into the house with her pictures of her trip. Again, we sat together, looked at each and she recounted exactly where she was and what was happening in each. As she talked, I just watched her. She is so beautiful, full of life and eagerly anticipating the changes ahead of her. She is blossoming into a beautiful young woman and yes....she still wants to share it with me.

The worries I had 18 years ago are faded, but I must admit that this time for me is bittersweet.